“I Hate My Boss”

Coaching Tips with Christina A. Arnold, MD 

Ever have the thought, “I hate my boss”?

How does that thought feel? For most people, this thought would generate the feeling of hate, frustration, irritation, and disdain, which drives the action of stewing on your negative feelings, perseverating on your boss’ flaws, dreaming of other jobs, wishing you were somewhere else, and judging your boss. The end result is that you are hating your work life.

And who feels the hate you have for your boss? Hint: not your boss! When you generate hate, only you feel it. Only you sit in those intense negative emotions. Your boss is probably sipping a margarita and planning her next amazing vacation.

What do you admire about your boss? Remember that everything in life is 50-50. Your boss likely has some redeeming qualities or you wouldn’t have taken the job in the first place. Don’t let your frustration blind you to the attributes you admire.

What feeling do you want to feel? Try, “my boss is doing the best she can with what she knows.” That thought is believable and generates a feeling of compassion, which feels way better than the feeling of hate! From a place of compassion, I try to see the issues from her point of view, I look for compromises that align our interests, and I look for how she could be right and I could be wrong. The end result is that I am doing the best I can.

When you encounter a person you disdain, consider that that person may be your greatest teacher because he/she sees life so differently than you do. Love him or her because only you feel the emotions you generate and love feels so much better than hate. Sign up for the masterclass on life taught by your boss.

All thoughts are optional.

Pick the thoughts that serve you.

Christina A. Arnold, MD is a GI pathologist and professional career coach. Follow her podcast at https://yourpathinfocus.podbean.com/ and reach her at YourPathInFocus.com.